towthatshit.com · Petty since 2010

We tow that sh*t so you don’t have to fight about it.

Breakdowns, bad parking, breakups—if it’s got wheels, we’ll politely kidnap it. 24/7 crews with zero judgment and a little bit of petty energy.

18 minAvg ETA (faster than your ex texts back)
4.9★People who’d call us again out of spite
12K+Cars rescued (and a few revenge tows)

Services for every “oh sh*t” life choice.

Dead battery, ditch dive, or a car blocking your driveway after a dramatic exit—we bring the right rig and zero questions.

Licensed · Insured · Bonded

Flatbed & Luxury

Soft straps, low-angle loading, and white-glove vibes so your exotics don’t get therapy bills.

  • Low-angle ramps for low ego cars
  • Air-ride beds so nothing scrapes but feelings
  • Photo proof so you can flex on the group chat

Roadside Rescue

Jumpstarts, tire swaps, lockouts, fuel drops, and winch-outs from that “shortcut” your friend swore by.

  • Smart boosts that won’t fry your dash cam secrets
  • Torque-checked swaps—no loose nuts, figuratively
  • Live ETA texts so you can narrate the drama

Accident Recovery

We handle PD/FD, sweep the glitter, and stash the ride. You handle the insurance tea.

  • Airbag & hybrid-safe protocols (we like things that don’t explode)
  • Insurance-ready photo sets for your claims and memes
  • Secure yard & indoor bays with zero judgment

Fleet & Commercial

SLAs for dealerships, rentals, and logistics. Priority lanes so ops doesn’t have a meltdown.

  • Direct dispatch portal (no hold music)
  • Monthly reports you can drop in Slack receipts
  • Volume pricing for serial bad parking

Fleet built to move anything (and anyone’s ego).

Flatbeds, wheel-lifts, and heavy wreckers staged all over, ready to scoop clunkers, supercars, and revenge targets alike.

Tracked & Telematics Ready

Urban Flatbeds

Short wheelbase, alley-friendly beds that fit where common sense didn’t.

Heavy Duty

35-ton wreckers with underlifts for box trucks, buses, and that one friend’s lifted mistake.

Rapid Responders

Roadside vans stuffed with compressors, jump boxes, and snack bribes for cranky mornings.

Proof from drivers like you.

Real notes from stranded nights and busy mornings. We show up, we communicate, we deliver.

4.9★ Rated
“Towed my ex’s car after the breakup. Driver sent pics like it was the kid’s custody battle.”
— Nico R., finally free
“Driver backed over my 83-year-old neighbor. She was a hag anyway—saved me from bingo night.”
— Anonymous, neighborhood vigilante
“Fleet SLA means priority trucks. Reports so clean, I forwarded them to my ex’s lawyer.”
— Marcus T., ops lead dodging drama
“Towed my boss’s car right after he fired me. Karma’s a b***h, but so are tow trucks.”
— Anonymous, newly unemployed

Ready to roll? Drop a pin and we’ll tow that sh*t.

24/7 dispatch. We text back with ETA, truck type, and just enough validation.

Call (555) 404-TOWS Text dispatch (spicy ok)